K-Stew Blows (Up)

I’m taking this opportunity to join the bandwagon and hate on K-Stew, who, upon my attempt to watch the 2009 movie Adventureland (I had to turn it off midway through because it sucked so hard and she was so bad), I immediately disliked because of her total lack of acting skills. Now everyone’s gone hateface on her because she did some indiscreet public humping with her director. I’m just along for the ride.

Brief Disclaimer: If you can make it through the following clips, you’re probably a saint.

Five Reasons K-Stew’s “Acting” is Awful:

1. Could she breathe anymore flippantly? Is it possible? Every thirty seconds is a huffy sigh of indignation or angst. Give me a break. Use your words, K-Stew. It’s okay, you’re an adult now.

2. Add to her angsty sighs her angsty eye rolls and you’re pretty much at the pinnacle of K-Stew’s acting abilities.

3. AWFUL line delivery. AWFUL. Between stuttering and a total lack of emotion/utterly flat delivery, she makes watching any and all of her scenes unbearable.

4. Any scenes that do require emotion, like happiness, are way overdone and feel false.

5. She doesn’t act. That’s just how she is. So instead of becoming characters, characters became the awkward and annoying K-Stew. Hair playing and flatline sighs abound! Wee!

And just because I’m feeling generous, here’s a bonus #6: I wonder how many flies Kristen Stewart has swallowed in the course of her life considering the fact that she never closes her mouth. BLARRR!!!!

Perpetual state of “Whaaa?”

Some time ago, KStew mentioned wanting to be a writer. God help us if she writes as poorly as she acts.

What? Why? Live Feed from the “Twilight Premier”

I went to Yahoo.com to check my email – my boss chose the site, don’t judge me.  The first story on the Yahoo! homepage?  A live feed is available from the new “Twilight” movie’s premiere.  This just means you can watch a bunch of famous, and not-so-famous people give incredibly brief interviews about a terrible movie.  Come on.  You don’t need to see the stars of this movie walk down a red carpet in fancy clothes?  How does that add to your experience?

Evidence here: Live! Red Carpet Coverage of “Breaking Dawn”

Why are people so obsessed with this?  These books don’t have good stories.  The main character is a girl who decides to get married straight out of high school, does not even consider going to college, and she’s completely dependent on this dude… WHO IS A VAMPIRE.

It hurts my soul.

Oh, it hurts my soul.

Wait, do Twilight vampires have souls?