Okay, Justin Bieber Thinks He Is Literally Justin Timberlake

I hope you saw my previous, and very recent post about Justin Bieber in which I accuse him of wanting to be Justin Timberlake – “Justin Bieber thinks he is The Ying Yang Twins plus *NSYNC.”  It is now undeniable.  This kid’s song, “Boyfriend” is just “Wait (the whisper song)” mixed with *NSYNC’s “Girlfriend.”  Now, he has released the video for “Girlfriend 2.0” “Boyfriend.”  It is exactly the same as *NSYNC’s video.

IT’S EXACTLY THE SAME.

Look at this damn video:

 

Compare it to this:

 

THIS IS YOUR FACE!

This poor kid.  He’s probably really nice.  I just can’t get behind his attempt to replace J. Timberlake…

 

They’re the same!

Justin Bieber, you will never replace the real Justin.

To the Douchebag Below Me.

Dear Douche-From-Downstairs,

It’s me, your upstairs neighbor. That mousy girl with the short haircut that you only see scuttling in and out of the building when it’s dark outside (be that early in the morning or late at night). Yes, hello. I’m sure you don’t remember my face because you only see me after you’ve smoked two doobs with your room mate, but never fear. Yes, I live upstairs.

We really need to talk about your bass problem. Bass problem. Yeah, your thumping bass problem. You see, it’s really starting to be a drag. You’re really, what do they call it, cramping my style. I think the new phrase would be “you’re fucking up my swag.” Or something.

I get that you’re cool and nineteen and living on your own for the first time, but do you really want to risk losing your hearing by blasting bass for 14 hours a day? We can hear the bass when you’re playing Coldplay, for crying out loud.

 

So consider this a friendly but firm request to KNOCK IT OFF. If I have to try to sleep/eat/watch tv/read/exist through another minute of your constant buzzing–pun intended, my friend–I’m either going to tear your eyeballs out of your face or call the fuzz, depending on how much energy I have after trying to function above and around your unending bass assault.

 

Sincerely,

 

Your [Angry] Upstairs Neighbor

I AM AMERICA. ARE YOU?

I’m gonna make this short and sweet.

A. This song is awful. Formally AND for its shitty content. (80s dance party, anyone?)

B. The Tea Partiers have long needed to stop being so self-righteous.

C. The Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street are the same bullshit. They’re both movements who have made it very clear what they’re against and have offered no possible solutions to the problems they have identified other than ones that revolve around absence (e.g. stop government spending or stop giving tax cuts to corporations and millionaires). Neither of these things are helpful.

D. This song is so bullshit.