This past week, I faced my greatest fear: the dentist. Though I gave myself multiple pep-talks, rationalized, and even texted my friends to demand their support, it didn’t go quite as planned. In fact, it was pathetic. I silently cried; my tears were only silent through brutish will power. I had to use every ounce of strength I had to keep myself from shaking too hard… but it was still hard enough that the dentist had to stop a few times. I almost hyperventilated twice, but I didn’t all the way. It wasn’t a total disaster, but it was pretty sad. Ultimately, I got through it. It was embarrassing, but I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t scared, I couldn’t hide my shaking, I couldn’t convince anyone that I was just fine. The dentist was able to perform the procedures I needed. She comforted me with words of wisdom, general cooing, and music. I had to be treated like a slightly stoic child. The key to my “success” in overcoming my intense, phobia-level fear of the dentist can be found in this list… Also, flossing helps. Keep flossing.
- Be upfront. Warn the people around you. For me, that meant warning the dentist and her staff that I was afraid, and that I had hyperventilated previously, and that my fear would be a silent, but dramatic experience for us all.
- Make jokes. Specifically, make self-effacing, situational jokes. I had to address the fact that I was sitting there, mouth pried open, tears rolling down my cheeks, shaking like a Kardashian in the presence of a talented person, whimpering like a baby, while also attempting to be an adult. No, really, I have my own insurance. I have a full-time job. I’m actually not a child… I think.
- Laugh at yourself. If you don’t, you’ll look like a tool. It was friggin’ hilarious to see me in that chair. I had to accept that. Plus, me laughing at the situation helped the dentist to know that I wasn’t angry, or terrified beyond reason. I knew I was being ridiculous, and acknowledging that was important.
- Address yourself as a crazy person. When facing the notion of dentistry, I must remind myself that I am crazy. It helps.
- Remember what the benefits are. I just kept reminding myself that people go to the dentist all the time, and that I care about my ability to chew. Chewing means eating watermelon. I cannot live without watermelon.
- Talk to yourself. A LOT. Whilst undergoing my drillings and fillings, I had a little mantra going. It went like this, “Breathe slowly. Don’t bite her. You’re not in pain. Breathe slowly. Don’t bite her. You’re not in pain.” When that failed, I had to remind myself that my actual fear was that I would be hurt, but that I’d felt much worse pain that actually possible from dentistry.
- If you must cry, do it silently.
- Thank everyone around you, often and sincerely. Those poor people who had to work on me. I was awful. I was scary. I apologized 400 times.
- Limit exposure to humans, especially children. If you think you might scream, cry, yell, flip-the-eff-out, you should make sure you’re passing your fear on to as few people as possible. I didn’t want some poor 5-year-old to be sitting in the waiting room, listening to me panic, and think, “Holy moly. They’re torturing people back there.”
- Take all the medication you are offered. From laughing gas to Novocaine, I was drugged up, and it really helped. Accept all numbing concoctions, pills, gasses, and creams. Don’t pretend you’re stronger than you are.
