Apparently, being a man is everything. It is fricking everything. BUT, being brave is not being a man; it’s just being brave. Sure, I like to say, “Man up!” or “Grow a pair!” as much as the next person, but I think we need to consider the implications of these little phrases. These phrases imply that to be brave, we must tap into our inner-dude. They imply that only men are brave. For me, this just isn’t going to work. If it takes balls to have balls, then I must have balls… right?
The thing is, I don’t have or want actual balls, but I’ll be damned if someone gets something I don’t because they do. I certainly have figurative balls, or cajones, or “a pair” (of balls). I’m brave. I’m assertive. I’m sick of people marrying these traits to masculinity. Whatever happened to the whole “I am woman, hear me roar!” thing? Women can be assertive, aggressive, brave and ballsy without being mannish or unwomanly. Being brave doesn’t make me a bitch; being a bitch makes me a bitch. I am still feminine when I am assertive. I am still a woman when I’m knocking a man down a few notches. Also, just because I’m destroying some dude in a debate, argument, drinking contest, arm wrestling match, wood chopping contest, four wheeler race or whatever I’m doing that day, it doesn’t mean I’m emasculating him. I’m just beating him. I’m winning. He’s losing. He’s still a boy and I’m still a girl.
Being tough shouldn’t challenge my femininity or anyone else’s masculinity. I get to be a tough womanly woman.
When people say, “Man up!” they are telling someone to do the right thing, to step up to a challenge, to face their fears. I can do all those things without manning up, I just do them. Am I womanning up? Am I chicking up? What’s happening then?
I can do what a man does. I can fight a man if I need to, and I have. My friends can vouch for that. I use a lot of f-bombs and call people dude. It’s part of how I fight.
Chicks rule. We don’t need to be dudes. Listen to Jessie J.
Or, for a lesson in true masculinity, look at Neville.