Chris Brown is a terrible dude. Disagree? I’d love to know why.
Chris Brown beat up his girlfriend – Rihanna – a few years back and was convicted. He does not deny what he did. Yes, he feels remorseful (allegedly). Obviously, he is a troubled young man. I know that some people will consider this unsympathetic, mean, or rigid; I don’t care. He beat the shit out of a woman. He should not be successful in an industry so driven by image. It makes no sense. It makes me so damn mad. Abuse is unforgivable. We let him become an example. We’re teaching American children that as long as they’re really good dancers and singers, they can hit women and still be accepted as a role model. You can hit your girlfriend AND maintain a successful music career.
He should be far too shamed to be back on the radio or performing at the Grammy’s. We should be shaming him.
Now, Ms. Miranda Lambert spoke her mind in February and I completely concur. She started quite a twitter war with Mr. Brown with the following tweets:
She is being hyperbolic because she thinks it so ridiculous that Chris Brown was invited to perform. “Gun Powder and Lead” is a song about a woman who plans to kill her husband after he beats her up. I love that she’s being sassy and bold here. She told her fans at a February concert: “I just have to speak my mind, because where I come from, beating up on a woman is never OK. So that’s why my daddy taught me early on in life how to use a shotgun.”
I don’t think she meant it literally, obviously. Meeting violence with violence is not the best way to deal with it. Her point in the song is to empower women, and to free them from a submissive role that traps them, represses them, and puts them in harm’s way. Her point is that we, as a culture, should be outraged by Chris Brown’s success.
I am outraged by Chris Brown’s success.
This should not be allowed. In his position as an entertainer, as a very successful entertainer, there are thousands of people who LOVE him. Thousands of people who went on twitter and defended him. Thousands of people who want to be like him. Therein lies the problem. When a person is rich, famous, beautiful, talented, and successful, that person will be idolized and emulated. We should not encourage anyone to emulate an abuser. Abuse is so scary, so traumatic, and so entirely vile. The fact that Chris Brown has been forgiven and accepted into his “comeback” makes me sick. I am offended. I am horrified.
Victims of domestic abuse often blame themselves and make excuses. They forgive their abuser and leave themselves in harm’s way. Being a victim, being attacked by someone who claims to love you is incredibly complicated. It is so hard for people to leave their abuser. They love them. They want to be with them. They want to help them. If it is already difficult for a woman to leave an abusive boyfriend or husband, imagine how much harder it is after this precedent is set.
If our culture forgives Chris Brown for beating the crap out of his girlfriend, aren’t we telling women everywhere to forgive their abusive boyfriends and husbands? Aren’t we forgiving and excusing abuse?
What has also been very public about this incident is that Rihanna has forgiven Chris Brown. In fact, the two collaborated on a recent song of hers called, “Birthday Cake.” It is an incredibly dirty song. It is so deeply disturbing to me. Here is this woman, Rihanna, in this presumably very difficult situation, which is also a very public situation. The man she loved hurt her – beat her up. I can understand having issues with just cutting him off and letting go of the relationship. It was meaningful for her, and then he suddenly showed he was a scary and dangerous man. It is hard to imagine. It is so hard to love someone and then suddenly have them attack you. Her situation is unique because it is so public. I am glad for her that she was able to move on and forgive him. That is big. That is healthy. However, I find it to be very irresponsible, very dangerous for her as an example, as a role model, to then publicly accept him and work with him again. Little girls want to be like her. Does she want little girls to have that lesson, to believe that abuse is forgivable?
I don’t necessarily think it is fair to put this all on her. After all, she is the victim. I just strongly believe that if a person is in a position where thousands or millions of people are looking up to them and looking to them for an example, then that person has a greater responsibility. That is probably not fair, but it comes with the territory.
I am genuinely frightened that our culture has forgiven Chris Brown. Abuse is unforgivable. How have we accepted him back to success? This is so damn dangerous.
Wanna see Miranda Lambert SLAM Chris Brown for being a convicted felon? Click Here!