Watching “Chubby/Curvy Chick” Porn Does Not Make You Progressive

As a self-proclaimed “curvy” girl, I am all for the praising and appreciation of curvaceous bodies.  For the record, “curvy” is referring to bodies Christina Hendricks, Beyonce, the current Christina Aguilara, Jessica Simpson, and most of the Kardashians, this term does not and should not apply to random, tiny celebrities who claim to be curvy because they weigh more than 105 lbs.

Having a B-Cup isn’t enough, ladies!  Having a big ass is sufficient.  Having annoyingly large breasts will also do the trick.  Though, you are probably going to have to weigh a little more… you know, like 125 lbs.

I think there are a lot of great websites that can help curvier girls feel better about themselves, and I think having sites like that is wonderful.

Sites like SkinnyVsCurvy are doing it the right way.  Sure, it’s gossipy and not entirely nice, but at least they give due credit to the curvy ladies who look a heck of a lot better than some of the Lexy Anorexies out there.  Being too skinny is unhealthy.  Being too fat is also unhealthy.  Let’s celebrate the healthy range in a healthy way.

Celebrating healthy bodies in a healthy way probably doesn’t mean watching porn.

Porn is demeaning to all parties involved.  Porn is a major industry.  I know that tons of people love porn, rely on it, and are overall BIG fans.  However, being a lover of porn does not make you an academic; that’s not enough.  I know that most porn features women with bodies that have been perfected and sculpted by work out routines and plastic surgeons to create unrealistic, or at least rare, results.  Just like Hollywood, porn emphasizes a very particular kind of body as idealized, and it’s a kind of body that most women cannot achieve.  Most of porn is detrimental to the female image because its “activity and subject matter” depict women as objects, nothing more than desperate, helpless, sex-crazed weirdos; it also doesn’t help that the women look like barbies.

Of course, there are more fetishes and niches out there than imaginable, which means there is also a lot of porn portraying ultra-skinny ladies, ultra-fat chicks, any race, any place, involving any imaginable thing.  Heck, pick any noun, adjective, adverb, verb… It’s in a porn-o.

That said, there is a lot, like A LOT, of chubby bunny/curvy/chubby/not-so-skinny/something called “BBW” (google at your own risk) stuff out there.  This wouldn’t normally come on my radar, but earlier a random dude yelled at me while I was running – I’m not entirely sure I caught everything he said, but he definitely referred me to a specific site.  The weirdest part of this is that he wasn’t really saying that he liked my “situation,” he was mostly pointing out that he was proud of me for being confident in my body.  WHAT?  First of all, pick a new medium.  The cat-call isn’t right for you.  Second, no.  NO.

There are a bunch of sites out there that post naked pictures of “curvy” and/or “chubby” chicks to “empower them,” and to “make them feel more beautiful.”  

How the hell is a bunch of porn going to be “empowering” for me?  Screw that bullshit!  These sites are just fetishist porn sites that are claiming to be some kind of grandiose feminism.  That’s not how it works.  Feminism does not mean you show people your vagina.  Feminism is more about being powerful, smart, and capable regardless of your genital-situation.  Curvy chicks are not being helped by exploitative sites that praise giant boobs, round tummies, and bubble butts; curvy chicks are being helped by fashion that encourages their bodies to be seen as beautiful and normal.  No woman was ever helped to feel beautiful (in a healthy way) by a bunch of half-dressed, poorly lit strangers clicking on pictures of her vagina in the middle of the night.

Glorified porn sites won’t solve eating disorders.  They will only alleviate the pressure in the pants of certain dudes (and chicks).

*At press, this writer was not considering herself especially skinny, or especially chubby.  She also has yet to visit the site recommended by that empowering drunk guy.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Instead of trying to say something prolific or worrying over whether or not my feelings are appropriate, I’d like to acknowledge the memory of 9/11 by suggesting we look to art and to each other for comfort.

After 9/11, our country was sent spinning and a lot of us, especially us kids, were just confused.  Were we in danger?  Who hated us?  What does “us” mean exactly?  I was 12 on 9/11 and I just didn’t quite understand.  I knew that I was sad, but it didn’t directly affect me.  I felt patriotic and worried and scared.  We were all genuinely sad.  We were all aware of the loss, and saddened for our fellow Americans.  At the same time, I think many people also felt confused in all the madness because they didn’t know anyone who was anywhere near the East Coast.  Everyone was affected, whether by the day or in its aftermath.

As a nation, we’re still healing, still trying to figure it out.  As a nation, we can and should turn to art and artistic expression for that healing and for the answers we just don’t have.  Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer is a great example of art helping us heal in life.  It’s the story of a young boy who loses his father in attack on the Twin Towers.  He is young, inventive, and precocious.  He is deeply hurt and just wants to find something to hold onto.  He wants answers, comfort, anything to make him feel better.  The book is romantic and sad as it follows his struggle to figure out how to deal with life and pain.  The book can make you feel better because his story will illuminate yours (pun intended).

In the book, Oskar talks to people to figure out what happened to his dad, and what’s happening to him.  He listens to their stories and they listen to his.  It helps everyone.  He helps people just because he is willing to hear them.  The art of the book is that it works in real life and in art.  The characters heal and the readers heal too.  It’s really quite lovely.

Sure, some people don’t like the book, but the idea is the same.  Use art to feel better.  Listening to someone else’s story will always help you hear your own.

So on this anniversary, let us honor the memory by looking to art and looking to each other.

There Can Be Only One

I was super stoked when Mad Men, the acclaimed AMC television series, hit Netflix streaming. As such, I’ve had my nose buried in the boob tube for a while. The show definitely creates its own aesthetic, set of mannerisms, and speech delivery, and once you watch a few episodes, you’ll know it anywhere.

However, recently, I’ve seen advertisements for two other period dramas, Pan Am and The Playboy Club, showing this fall on network TV (ABC and NBC respectively). I’m used to seeing TV try and rip off other shows (see also Ridiculousness with Rob Dyrdek, showing soon on MTV–ripoff Tosh.0 much, execs over there?), at least in concept. Which seems to be more of what The Playboy Club does, but at times it, and most of the time what Pan Am seems to do is rip off the style of Mad Men–the mannerisms, the speed and style of line-delivery, etc. And that’s kind of annoying.

Don’t get me wrong, Mad Men is a great show. But it’s great because it’s not a desire to relive the early 1960s in NYC; rather it attempts to use the positive and the negative from the period within its realm to create drama without overlooking or promoting negative attributes of the period. So rather than relish in or gloss over the sexism and racism that were pervasive in the day in which the drama is being created, the show seems to lay them at its viewers’ feet, bare-boned and without apology. But it is this style of honesty that makes Mad Men worth watching, and what I don’t see in the sneak previews for the other two shows. That both worries and irks me.

Now that I’ve raised my concerns, here’s the rant: Hey, network TV, quit ripping off good shows and other people’s good ideas. Maybe fire your creative departments and start over because it’s been obvious for years you can’t find much of anything that works, let alone is unique, innovative, and good. Maybe instead of hiring a bunch of people with business degrees and actuarial mathematicians who calculate the time it will take for America to become totally fed up with the crap you’re putting over the airwaves, you should instead hire someone who actually cares about the work they produce instead of the money it will make them. Because if all you’re focused on is dollar bills or what your viewer stats are, you’re never going to produce anything good. And you’re going to keep making me pay for cable. Thanks a lot.

I Don’t Want To Smell Like Sugary Treats, Thanks

The smell of your bathroom products can, at times, be a big deal. I don’t know about everyone else, but I normally take a few minutes to smell the products that I’m buying for two reasons: I don’t like hating the way I smell and I don’t want the six hundred smells from all the different products to clash and make me smell like a trash can or a perfume-obsessed grandmother.

However, the other day I went to Target and purchased a new hairspray on the cheap: Suave Touchable Finish Hairspray. I thought, well, this looks all right. Let’s try it. I also happened to be in a bit of a hurry, so, contrary to my usual beauty product purchasing routine, I didn’t smell it first.

Oh, brother. I now am the proud owner of a product that makes me smell like a cotton candy factory. Might have been cool when I was 12, not so much when I’m 22. I didn’t realize that the pink stood for “Smell Like Treats Four Year Olds Love”!

The quality is decent, but the smell got me thinking about other beauty products and smells that drive me nuts.

Body Spray/Spritzers

I don’t really understand how these are different from perfume except that they usually smell worse and people think that because they aren’t perfume that they should use ten times as much. They really don’t accomplish much other than making women smell like cheap Thai hookers, too-ripe fruit, or a variety of sweets. This causes me to wonder who exactly wants to walk around smelling like food. It seems like you would attract more attention than you might have bargained for (e.g. from squirrels or other hungry animals).

Hair Paste

As a short-haired woman, I love me some hair wax, but I hate buying it. There doesn’t seem to be any standards for what terms like “wax,” “paste,” “fiber,” or “gum” mean, what texture they will give your hair, or what texture they have on their own. They vary from a nearly solid paste-like substance to semi-solid material to runny goop that makes you look like you have respectfully declined to wash your hair for the last two weeks.

Pore Strips

I, like many other people, continue to buy these stupid little things even though they continuously disappoint me. They kind of, sort of work, but more often than not, I’m more frustrated with what I think is left in my pores than what these suckers pulled out. Why? Why do I keep buying these?! Oh, yeah, it’s because every other product that claims to clean your pores also sucks. Man has walked on the moon but has yet to come up with a good way of cleaning his or her pores.

That’s all from me, but what beauty products leave you feeling angry, disappointed, or smelling weird?

Dang! Be THIS Girl!

You go girl! Let’s all pray that this little child grows up to make records like Adele and Carole King. You’re on the right track, baby.

Her name is Julia Dale and she’s 10 years old.  Uh, she rules.

To see the original video from Yahoo!Sports and the NBA, check the link below:

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Video-10-year-old-wows-NBA-Finals-crowd-with-so?urn=nba-wp4339

Urban Outfitters Sucks – Here’s Proof

Urban Outfitters stole an artist’s original work so that they could make a quick buck.

Please check out her blog and buy a necklace FROM HER, which SHE DESIGNED.

http://imakeshinythings.tumblr.com/post/5855716317/not-cool-urban-outfitters-not-cool

They are a huge corporation, and yet they felt it necessary to steal the artistic property of a single person – this is how she makes her living.  Those dicks!

Also, a friend pointed out that Urban Outfitters even made a shirt that said, “Eat Less.”  Wow.  Promoting Anorexia much?  They really are evil.  Sofia Bush was pissed!  Here’s another link to them being awful:

http://www.skinnyvscurvy.com/sophia-bush/sophia-bush-outraged-over-urban-outfitters-eat-less-t-shirt.html

This made Sofia Bush very mad. Us too.