Cat Hair Knows Your Weaknesses

I am very allergic to cats. Like hives and tears and asthma allergic to hats and their ever-present, gravity-defying, follow-you-to-your-grave hair.

For those who share my allergy, there is a rule about a cats and allergies. The cats know. When a cat sensing that you are ignoring him/her, that cat wants to touch you, rub up on you, win you over, etc., and that cat will stop at nothing to get hair all over you. See, cats like playing hard to get. Thus, when a human plays hard to get (or in this case, a game of oh-god-is-that-a-cat? – I-really-hope-that-cat doesn’t-touch-my-coat), the cat is intrigued and maybe even offended.

The cat thinks, “How dare this lowly human not worship my glowing mane? I will use my cutest cuddles, my most vicious head rubs, and my most purring meow to get this stupid human to love me. And when he/she does, I’ll leave her/him in the lurch. Mwa! Ha! Ha!”

Meanwhile, Mrs. Allergy-Pants is thinking, “Why is that cat staring at me? What do you want from me, cat? Yes, I get that you’re adorable and swift, but please don’t rub yourself on my pants. Is that my coat!? Get off my coat… Why, cat? Why?”

Cats want to ignore you.

Cats don’t want to be ignored.

Cats are constantly playing hard to get. If you try and pull that, they do not like it. That’s the cat’s move, man. Get your own move.

The other possible answer, of course, is that cats can sense these allergies and enjoy torturing humans. Thus, when they sense that a person is allergic, they attack. It is highly possible that they are simply malicious and clairvoyant. They see a weakness, and so they act upon.

I have always felt that cats had the capacity for evil. You know they do.

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s