10 Weird Things I Learned On Vacation

  1. Ohio State fans are everywhere, and they keep strengthening my stereotypes.  The ones I saw were loud, made annoying parenting decisions, let kids swim during the adult swim hour, and were simply rude.
  2. Forest fires don’t scare enough people.  No fear.
  3. Don’t scream when you see a spider… At least not while the driver is merging into four lanes of traffic.  He will smite you.
  4. The art of secret farting is lost on some people.
  5. Don’t buy a salad in the U.P.  Don’t even try.
  6. The driver controls the radio.  Give up on those CDs you brought because it’s so not happening.
  7. Freighters are gigantic and terrifying.  So are people from Ohio.  (Not really, but it’s funny.)
  8. Rocks are still the most interesting part of my day.
  9. Bears are terrifying – even when they’re stuffed and in a glass box.
  10. Children are terrifying – especially if they enter your hot tub.  Game over.

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