Your Facebook Status Bums Me Out

I’m bummed out.  Why?  Because I read your facebook status.

1.  It’s spelled wrong – very wrong.

  • “Your not the smartest perosn in teh wrld.”  You may be right.  Well, if you meant you.
  • “My neighbors r SO loud!!! I can here everything their saying!”

2.  You’re fishing for compliments.

  •  “Ugh!  I’m SO fat today!”
  • “I should not have had a second Pringle.  Now, I’ll be fat forever!”
  • “OMG! I wish I was skinny like I was in High School…”  Wishing anything about your life was more like high school is never acceptable.  
  • “Yay! I lost 3 lbs. Too bad I still need to lose 400! JK LOL HaHa… But, seriously, though.”
  • “Do I look fat?” (attached bikini picture below…)

3.  Your math is wrong.

  • “Snooki is pregnant and due on December 21st… The dates the Mayans predicted the world will end!” If we already know she’s pregnant, she cannot be due in OVER nine months.  It only takes nine months to pop out a baby, you dumbass.  
4.  You’re bragging.
  • “Blah, blah, blah… I bought this thing!”
  • “OMG!  My boyfriend/girlfriend bought me this thing!”
  • “Another iPhone?  What am I gonna do with this?!” (sent from facebook mobile)
  • “Yay!  Daddy bought me a BMW!”

5.  You’re really over-sharing.

  • “I am so bloated… Ugh!”
  • “Beard-burn! hehehe”
  • “I’m gonna regret last night…” (along with 400 photos)
  • “Guess what I got pierced?”
  • “Blah, blah, blah… sex…”
  • “Blah, blah, blah… drugs…”
  • “Blah, blah, blah… money…”

6.  You’re way too depressed to be on facebook…  You should call a friend.

  • “I have no friends!”  What about all your facebook friends?
  • “I cannot BELIEVE he dumped me!  I’m devastated!  I’m dying!”
  • “I hate my life.”  I hate it too…
  • “I haven’t stopped crying in four days!!!”

7.  You’re fighting with someone…  You should just call them.

  • “I hate my boyfriend.  He’s such a jerk sometimes.  Why can’t he just listen to me…”
  • “Tina is a bitch.”
  • “You are an asshole.  I hate you.  You’re so dumb.”
  • “Blah, blah, blah… WAAAAA!”
8.  You’re being sexually explicit… or implicit.  Don’t be sexual.
  • “I want to see you naked.”
  • “I’m gonna see you naked.”
  • See picture…

9.  You’re way too obsessed with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

  • “I love you, baby!” (tags boyfriend/girlfriend)
  • “Cuddle time!”
  • “Snuggle time!”
  • “I love my baby!”
  • “BF/GF TIME!”

10.  You just update too often.  Shut up!

  • “Blah…”
  • “Blah…”
  • “Blah…”
  • “Blah…”
  • “Blah…”
  • “Blah…”

These are all awful.  These are all things you should keep to yourself, or at the very least edit.

One thought on “Your Facebook Status Bums Me Out

  1. Pingback: It’s Our Anniversary! | RANTING & RAISING CONCERNS

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