Look, I get that having kids complicates your life, and that you will want to bring your kids with you to restaurants, stores, events, libraries, parties, and whatever else there is. I get it, y’all. However, as you continue to go through life with your child and/or children, remember that your crying baby will ruin everyone else’s dinner, shopping experience, party, study session, etc. Your crying baby, your terrible two-year-old, your eight-year-old diva, your asshole-of-a-teenager are all part of the reason I cannot walk into a Target without getting a headache.
While I was out and about doing my Christmas shopping, I heard many a mother threaten their children with, “If you don’t do this, or stop that, Santa won’t bring you any gifts.” First of all, that’s not sounding like great parenting. Secondly, maybe you shouldn’t bring your four-year-old to Target two days before Christmas while it’s packed with other stressed out moms and dads. That child is clearly going to melt down. You are going to melt down. Everyone else is going to be uncomfortable, and they will all leave with headaches. Did you really need wrapping paper that badly?
Sometimes, you need to leave the kids at home. Sometimes, you need a babysitter, a dedicated sister, a really amazing friend, or a grandparent to steal your child for a few precious moments. You can also order things online. Free shipping! No lines! No crying babies!
I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering why I don’t just stay home and avoid all the crying babies. You’re thinking that I sound like an ass because I’m not considering that people can’t afford babysitters, and don’t always have support systems of people who can watch their kids. There are a lot of single parents, and people who just didn’t have a choice of whether or not their kids would accompany them on their various trips. I also understand that, but this website is devoted to rants, and this is a rant. Obviously, I am not advocating for a kid-free world; I just want to go to Target without getting a headache because a three-year-old is mad about not getting candy. I want to go out to lunch without fearing that someone’s child will throw knives around the room. I want to read in a library without hearing anyone’s family drama.
Babysitters are amazing gifts from the Flying Spaghetti Monster and/or god. Hire them.