10 Reasons You’re Being a Driving-Douche

Don’t be a douchebag when you’re driving.

  1. Use your turn signal.  It’s not that hard, you asswipe.  Otherwise, you are a mystery to me.  Also, if you are choosing not to use your turn signal, don’t be offended when I assume you’re going straight.  That’s what would make sense…
  2. Don’t fucking text.  JUST DON’T.  You’ll die.  I’ll die.  We’ll all die.
  3. Unless you’re Sting, no sunglasses at night.
  4. If it snowed, you have to clean off your car – that means cleaning ALL THE WINDOWS.  None of this patchy, half-assed, tiny holes of light business, please.  Seriously, you have to be able to see while you drive.  The back window is supposed to be see-through.  Being late is better than dying.  A lot better.  Clean the whole car.  You have two more minutes, I promise.  
  5. Yellow lights require stopping when possible.  Please remember this.
  6. Right of way is not negotiable, even if you’re late.  Suck it up, and wait your turn.  By the way, when you’re merging, you don’t have right of way.  Sorry.
  7. When precipitation comes down, so should your speed.  No one is unbreakable, that was a movie.  Just slow down, you prick.
  8. If it’s not raining, snowing, sleeting, etc., maybe you could go the speed limit, or at least let others pass you.  You can chug away at your slow pace, but don’t hold up all of traffic because you’re uncomfortable with the speed normal humans like.
  9. If you miss your turn, you must keep driving, and safely turn at the next available street/road/driveway, and you cannot simply slam on your brakes, then cut across every lane of traffic.  Again, safety first, asshole.  Being late = being alive = winner.
  10. Turn your lights on whenever… You know what, just keep them on; it’s easier that way.

Take home point: stop being a driving-douche.  Pay attention.  Follow the rules.  Try not to kill or be killed.

Deal?

3 thoughts on “10 Reasons You’re Being a Driving-Douche

  1. Pingback: 10 More Reasons You’re a Terrible Driver « ranting & raising concerns

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