Every lady loves a nice pair of knee-high boots. They are sexy, practical, and all-around awesome. Women love shoes largely because (as I heard once on TLC’s “What Not To Wear”) you’re never too fat for shoes.
Well, unless you (like me) have giant calves.
My calves are so big, I can’t wear most boots. This means, my weirdly, inexplicably, doubly-muscly calves are too fat for certain shoes. That’s not a great feeling. In fact, going to a store and trying on boots is embarrassing, frustrating, and occasionally painful. I have zippered my skin and jeans. I have gotten my leg stuck in a pair of boots so bad I had to have help to pull them off. Today, a little girl actually laughed me and giant calves. This is why I am ranting to the shoe and boot industry today – Some women have big calves, and we want to wear boots too. Dammit.
The picture below describes my life, and it also comes from a blog I found while searching for images of big calves vs. boots. Check out her blog – CLICK HERE!
I don’t know why my calves are so big, but I do know that I’m not alone. Lots of ladies have meaty calves; where’s the love, shoe industry? Where’s the love?
I just want to be able to go to the mall, walk into a store, and find at least one pair of boots that will actually fit over my weirdly muscular calves. I don’t know why they’re so big, they just are. Maybe I walk in a strange manner that requires more calf-action than the normal woman? Maybe I knead the mattress with my feet when I sleep? Maybe it’s genetic? I don’t know. I know that I want boots. I’ll pay for them. I just want someone to sell them. I don’t think I should have to go to 15 stores to find even one pair that fits me. Some women are fat, and have fat legs. Some women aren’t fat, but have big legs. Some women have crazy cankles. Some women might just want a little more breathing room.
Me, I’m not a fat person; I’m just a person with giant calves who would like to purchase some boots.
Sell me some boots.