The Horror of Shopping for Boots

Every lady loves a nice pair of knee-high boots.  They are sexy, practical, and all-around awesome.  Women love shoes largely because (as I heard once on TLC’s “What Not To Wear”) you’re never too fat for shoes.

Well, unless you (like me) have giant calves.

My calves are so big, I can’t wear most boots.  This means, my weirdly, inexplicably, doubly-muscly calves are too fat for certain shoes.  That’s not a great feeling.  In fact, going to a store and trying on boots is embarrassing, frustrating, and occasionally painful.  I have zippered my skin and jeans.  I have gotten my leg stuck in a pair of boots so bad I had to have help to pull them off.  Today, a little girl actually laughed me and giant calves.  This is why I am ranting to the shoe and boot industry today – Some women have big calves, and we want to wear boots too.  Dammit.

The picture below describes my life, and it also comes from a blog I found while searching for images of big calves vs. boots.  Check out her blog – CLICK HERE!

I don’t know why my calves are so big, but I do know that I’m not alone.  Lots of ladies have meaty calves; where’s the love, shoe industry?  Where’s the love?

I just want to be able to go to the mall, walk into a store, and find at least one pair of boots that will actually fit over my weirdly muscular calves.  I don’t know why they’re so big, they just are.  Maybe I walk in a strange manner that requires more calf-action than the normal woman?  Maybe I knead the mattress with my feet when I sleep?  Maybe it’s genetic?  I don’t know.  I know that I want boots.  I’ll pay for them.  I just want someone to sell them.  I don’t think I should have to go to 15 stores to find even one pair that fits me.  Some women are fat, and have fat legs.  Some women aren’t fat, but have big legs.  Some women have crazy cankles.  Some women might just want a little more breathing room.

Me, I’m not a fat person; I’m just a person with giant calves who would like to purchase some boots.

Sell me some boots.

4 thoughts on “The Horror of Shopping for Boots

  1. I’m actually with you on this one, because although I fit boots just fine, my best friend doesn’t, and she’d love to wear them.

    I get a bit annoyed, because if this were a men’s fashion item, there would be a wide variety of fittings, lengths and sizes to choose from. But when it is women’s shoes – forget it! We’re all supposed to just…fit…somehow.

    One thing I *can* suggest is to check out shoemakers. Where I hail from (Melbourne, Australia, although I live in New Zealand now) there’s a terrific shoemaker who makes shoes and boots to fit, and they’re only marginally more expensive than pre-made boots and shoes (maybe 10-20% more). Getting boots made, you’d probably find they’d last longer, and at least then you’d get what you wanted and get something that was comfortable!

    And in the meanwhile, keep on complaining. Maybe someone, somewhere out there is listening to us!

  2. Try I am right there in the same boat with you. Years of tap and pointe dancing have left my calves unable to fit into most boots. I gave up hunting around through stores and turned to the internet when I learned that DSW will tell you on the shoe’s description the size of the calf area. I grabbed a measuring tape, figured out what size I was and next thing I knew I was easily ordering boots without having to drive around town frustrated. They even have a section of their online boots department called “wide calves” and it seperates the boots that have a better chance of fitting us from all the others. It changed my life! I became a member of DSW, easily since it was free, and now get free shipping as well so it not only saves me time but is super convenient. Best of luck!

  3. The only women I’ve come across who don’t have this problem are the super slim. I think boots are made like that because they will stretch over time and so the initial tightness is to compensate for that, so they don’t lose their shape/fit too much. However, it can be very painful to start! I can barely get the zips up and sometimes have to heat them over a heater quickly just to get a little stretch. There are some companies making wider boots now though.

  4. Pingback: Thighs of Glory (Read: Beyonce’s Thighs) | RANTING & RAISING CONCERNS

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