Black Friday is a crazy American tradition that pushes the limits of people’s willingness to compromise their morals, pride, and safety in order to save some major bank on things like tvs, phones, boots, and trendy toys. Because so many Americans go balls-to-the-wall crazy on Black Friday, my sister and I have dubbed it, “National Asshole Day,” instead.
I know it’s a bit crass, but it’s just a description of the day. I saw a news story about some crazy bitch who pepper-sprayed other shoppers so she could get a flat-screen. SHE PEPPER-SPRAYED THEM… FOR A DAMN TV. She’s an asshole.
Some off-duty police officer also pepper-sprayed some shoppers who were being “rowdy.” He’s an asshole.
The 13-year-old who tried to body check me in Victoria’s Secret? She, obviously, should not have been in that store. She clearly didn’t know who she was dealing with. The scoffed at me, probably a little jealous of my giant bras, though they are really a terrifying pre-cursor to late-onset adult scoliosis… She should not have assumed I would, or could immediately make room for her in the tiny aisle in between tiny underpants and tiny sequined see-thru items. She should not have assumed that I was a mirage. She should not have run into me because that resulted in her bouncing off of me and into the racks of rack-holders. I couldn’t help but laugh. Yet, she was the assshole.
Almost everyone who was driving – assholes.
Most people who waited for 12 or more hours were probably turned into assholes from exhaustion, dehydration, hunger, stress, and rage.
Anyone elbowing a grandma in order to get a cell phone. You guys are assholes.
Anyone who made a child join them or hold their place in line (I saw this happen on WEDNESDAY because some asshole was already camped out at Best Buy) is a MAJOR ASSHOLE.
Happy National Asshole Day!