Baby Doll Tees. You know, those tiny shirts we all wore when we were fifteen with stupid logos and cartoon characters and ‘sassy’ quips on them? Yeah. The ones that never fit right, and if you ever threw them in a dryer you could forget about wearing them ever again unless showing off your butt crack is your kind of thing. Happily, I grew out of wearing them (pun intended). It baffles me, though, how many I still see around. Who really wants to wear a shirt that obviously was not built for a normal sized teen or adult, but exactly what it describes: a baby? These stupid shirts never quite came down far enough to adequately cover my ever-lengthening teenage torso, which often resulted in the display of back dimples. Really that’s something I should have kept underneath my shirt… if it fit correctly. What continues to baffle me more than the baby doll shirt itself is the annoying idea that it is “made for women.” For example, the NFL recently began selling team merchandise for women, which means–
you guessed it–team baby doll tees. I get that they’re supposed to be cut for women (e.g. not baggy, have some kind of shape), which is great, except for the fact that they aren’t cut for women. They’re cut for pygmies or some other abnormally small race of people (e.g. children) who would be able to wear them without displaying butt crack or back dimples. Give me a shirt that is the right length, damnit!!!
Which, I guess is what we all wished for when the fashion industry blessed us
with those really long-torso style tshirts (which I can only describe as “tunic tees”). Admittedly, I still own a few of these, but they never made sense on my body and still don’t. But I was so tired of the stupid too-short baby doll tees that the ultra-long tee seemed like a viable alternative. What was I thinking?
Maybe wishing for clothes that actually fit instead of make me look like a small child or a hideously long-torsoed monster is too much. Or maybe asking, as a grown woman, to be able to wear something that is not associated with a baby or a doll, two things which I am obviously not, is too much.
One fine day, ladies, we will have clothes that actually fit real bodies. Until then…