Making Out… In Public?

Making out is awesome; this is something we previously established in the post “Making Out: The Rules and Regulations,” which I hope you’ll take the time to review again.  Because people love it so much, it occasionally happens in public.  This bothers me a lot when it’s light outside, but when it’s dark, I can pretty much let it go.  It’s dark, you’ve probably been drinking, you’re super-horny, you’re in college, you have no morals, you don’t care about what other people think, did I mention that you’re drunk?…

The drunkies that make out in public are often in bars, or dark corners, which makes them seem less aggressively inappropriate.  Why?  Well, they have put themselves in locations where one might expect to see a solid, sloppy, drunken make out session going on.  No shockers there, just a trashy college bar.

Now, you might be asking yourself: if a bunch of drunk kids can make out in a bar, why can’t I make out in public too?  Answer: because you’re not 19-23, and it’s still kind of gross.  I will admit that I’ve done this… more than once.  Sorry, folks, just keepin’ it real.  I think most people have, at some point or another, made out in public.  Some of us regret it, some of us laugh it off, and some of us will deny it until we die.  It’s cool, y’all.  It happens/happened.

However, if you have enough mental stability (if you are sober) to know that making out is gross in public, you have no right to do so.  If you are old enough (over 21) and smart enough (didn’t go to Ohio State) to realize that you yourself would not want to see two stranger strangely getting freaky with their mouth areas, then maybe you should also extend that courtesy.  Yesterday I saw people well into/past their forties making out in a Starbucks.  What the hell?  I mean, first of all, who makes out in a Starbucks?  Second of all, these two clearly have a private space at their shared home where they could make out PRIVATELY.  It was really icky.  Find a private area to do that stuff!  You especially need to find a private space to mack if it’s going to get crazy-intense.  If there might be butt/boob grabbing, if there might be skirt-lifting, and/or if there might be little sounds of “enthusiasm” you need privacy.  You need it.   Take a look to the right and consider using this little gadget to some personal space for your make out session.  Save the public from having to see your tongues touch.  No one else needs to be in on your weird kissing habits – most people have a couple or more.  No one else needs to see a look of ecstasy on your or your partner’s face.  It is just weird and rude to do that.

I’m not against all forms of PDA; I think a little is endearing and can be perfectly appropriate for the average day and setting.  If you are at work, then PDA is clearly unacceptable and should not be happening for any reason or under any circumstance.  If you are walking through the park and you feel like a kiss, go for it.  Just don’t full-on go for it.  Public spaces ask us to hold back and to use our better judgment with our behavior.  We hold back on swearing.  We cover up so that we don’t traumatize young children.  We don’t drink.  We usually don’t smoke.  We act politely.  We should also not make out or do anything worse.

Folks, I’m just saying that you need to settle it down with the making out.  It makes me uncomfortable.  It makes everyone uncomfortable.  It also makes you look like a yucky person.

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