10 Things We Hate About Moving (Well, 12…)

1. All these fucking boxes!  They all look the same.
2. No one stops sweating, ever.  If you are moving, you are sweaty.  You smell like sweat.  You are a sweaty, smelly mess. Blech…
3. Everyone is mad.  Your mom is annoyed.  Your boyfriend is pissy.  You’re mad.  Everyone is stressed.  And arguing.  It’s like you lose control of your actual emotions, and get lost in new emotions that are covered and soaked in sweat.  In fact, sweating has become an emotion.
4. No matter what, you will lose something valuable and break something sentimental.  And then you will cry.
5. You find far too many spiders in far too many places making far too many webs on far too many things you own.
6. Even when you find people to buy your furniture, they will be assholes.  For example, the woman who was 30 minutes late, then toured the apartment to see what else we had, then demanded we charge half-price, then claimed to have only brought $6.00 with her.  Needless to say, we passed on the sale.
7. I hate that movies glorify moving with montages.  This is not a montage; “I’m Walking on Sunshine” is not the soundtrack to real life.  This just sucks.
8. You can’t drink to ease the pain because then you can’t drive or really be a reliable lifter of furniture.
9. How much are you charging for boxes?  Wait!  Why am I buying boxes?  I’m paying for cardboard?  What the hell is happening?  (cries)  It’s just a box.
10. You have to leave… :(
11. (Bonus) Whenever you move you always feel like the filthiest person alive… so many dust bunnies…. everywhere.
12. (Bonus) Questions! If you have someone helping you move, chances are they are going to break your concentration every thirty seconds with a (sometimes completely stupid) question. But you don’t want to blow up at them because they are helping you after all. Rock and a hard place. :(

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