Awkward Tattoos and Other Ways to Kill Your Relationship

Relationships end for lots of reasons: irreconcilable differences, cheating, growing apart, etc. However, tattooing your fiance’s fifth-grade mug on your ribs is a pretty good way to waive a red flag that screams “I’M CRAZY!”

While tooling around today, I ran across this story about Kat Von D’s (of TLC’s L.A. Ink) tattoo of her former fiance’s (Jesse James, the West Coast Choppers guy and Sandra Bullock’s ex) face. The corresponding video is worth a look, as it divulges what the text cannot.

Of all the stupid things…

I used to think it was questionable when someone got a lover’s name tattooed on their body.  But their face? As if women don’t have enough personal image and body issues, now this crazy woman decides she’s going to forever make her body remind her of this jerk-off. WHAT? Not to mention, dude was straight ugly as a ten year old. Jeez.

Additionally, is it just me or is Von D particularly obnoxious? She reminds me of a small animal or child that’s been force fed a bottle (or two) of Five Hour Energy–or crack. Her personality–and, admittedly, I judge from the short clip posted on MSNBC–is all over the place. My brain hurts from trying to explain how a bleach-blonde valley girl found her way into the body of a heavy metal rock chick. Please, for the love of god, ENUNCIATE. Not that James is any winner, either. Dude looks like a deer in the headlights. “‘Whoa, she’s really doing this for me'” is how Von D describes his thought process, but it looks more like “Whoa, this chick really isn’t doing it for me anymore” from his expression.

Moral of the story? Don’t tat your dude’s (or lady’s) face on your body. At least not if there’s any chance you might one day call it quits. Who wants to be looking at that ugly mug for the rest of your life? It only is going to invoke negative feelings that will then be transferred to your own body. Not cool! Not to mention, you never know how your newfound dedication to your partner’s image will leave them feeling. In this case, it’s obviously a little too much for Mr. James.

Although if I was in a relationship with what amounted to a scatterbrained, hyperactive, overly-devoted Etch-a-Sketch, I might blow that popsicle stand, too.




More on tats you probably shouldn’t get.

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