Your Facebook Birthday

It’s your birthday and all your friends remembered… OR, they went on Facebook and it reminded them that it’s your birthday… But still, so many friends and acquaintances are thinking of you and taking the time to contact you with well wishes and happy thoughts.  It is actually quite nice.  You feel loved and popular, as you should on your birthday.  Congrats!  You’re important and loved.

Up ’til now, you’ve done nothing wrong…  So far you’ve just maybe been a little vain or self-concious.  You’re doing fine.  It’s when people start whining because not enough people wrote on their walls.  OR maybe those people didn’t quite say the right things… maybe they messaged you a birthday wish instead of writing it publicly.  The terror!  OR Little Miss Birthday Girl might whine because a specific person didn’t write on herwall.  Often, the person who didn’t write on the wall is a person who attended a birthday party, called directly, or was seen in person by the birthday-er.  It’s facebook.  It’s not real life.  Let friends be real friends.

Also, remember that most of the people writing on your facebook wall don’t actually know your date of birth and didn’t remember it was your birthday until they logged in as usual and saw a little reminder on the side of their screen.  Creeping is not the same as caring.

This is what happens now.

Here’s where people start to go wrong.  They get a little too high and mighty about their facebook popularity.  Take a few things to remember:
1. I promise you, it’s okay if 500 people didn’t write on your facebook wall.  You should be more than happy with the 50 people who did.
2. Your best friend didn’t write on your wall?!?!?!  Yeah, but she called you, saw you, got you a gift and planned you a party… She did a whole hell of a lot more than writing on your stupid little facebook wall.
3. You’re the only one counting.  If anyone else is counting how many of your “friends” wrote on your wall, they’re just a straight-up creeper.
4. Not every post needs a reply, but if you do decide to comment on each, don’t say exactly the same thing to every person.  That just re-emphasizes how impersonal this all is.  The people that just say, “happy b-day,” with no capitol letters, not even taking the time to write “birthday,” these people are not highly invested in you and do not require your further attention.  Simply reading it is sufficient.
5. Finally, it’s your birthday… get off facebook and go have a drink or something.

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