So, I’ve been in the great American southeast for the past ten days. On the threshold of returning to my lovely midwest, I would like to point out three weird things.
1. No one in Tennessee uses their blinker. No one. Indicators are your friends… especially when you’re trying to turn left over six lanes of traffic! Use them!
2. There is no cold water. Yeah. It’s so effing hot outside that cold water is a joke. You turn on the cold water faucet and think you messed up because all you get is water that feels like its been sitting in a small pool on blacktop for four hours. The only way I could get any real cold water was by melting ice.
3. Why isn’t your soda fizzy, great American South? I’ve had Diet Cokes from Tennessee to Louisiana and all of it sucks! It tastes weird and flat, like Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi after it sat for too many days in a hot car. What’s the deal?
I never thought I’d say it, but I think–weirdly enough–the midwest ain’t so bad after all.