You may remember a recent post about a particularly brazen gentlemen who recently sent me a message about becoming fuck buddies… I then sent him a super weird reply. Well, he wrote back!
He really believed he could turn it around. Now, that’s confidence.
I’m a full time student now doing masters, I work 40+ hrs at the Hosptial, and work occasionally in between that. So non-commitment sexual encounters with possible mutual meals is all I ever have time for this semester . As far as in the sheets go, I’m not turned on just by the mundane, gentle sex. I enjoy it time to time as a way to break up the rougher side. I’m definitely turned on the most by knowledge , intelligence and beauty which you seem to have all. If you have any questions you’d like to ask, I’ll answer anything.
Also I promise to keep things discreet .
My gross response:
While I am super-impressed that you have so much going on. I mean, I just have two jobs, two volunteers positions, classes, workshops, and self-respect, I can’t believe you’ve managed to stay awake long enough to write this charming message. I mean, my god, that’s impressive. If I had a job and some classes, I’d only be able to do that and sleep. Look at you, making time to troll the internet for women to screw.
It’s always nice when a complete stranger sends me a message that hints to their sexual proclivities. How unusual that you enjoy both slow and fast sex? I’ve never met a man who enjoyed different kinds of sex. You must be really deep. Personally, I’m only into completely silent, open-eyed, well-lit intercourse. I also enjoy wearing colonial dresses when I fornicate; it makes it more complicated, but it’s totally worth it.
It sounds like you are definitely turned on by intelligence. Sex is the best way for a person to express their intelligence. Before I put on my colonial sex dress, I usually give my potential sex partner a quiz on world history, algebra, and poetic forms. I only proceed with my straight-A students.
Here are some questions:
1. Has this ever worked?
2. How many women have you successfully banged? Please provide numbers for women you met online vs. women you met in person.
3. Why bother making a profile when you could just go to Rick’s or Necto?
4. What about my profile made you think I’d want to be your fuck buddy?
5. What’s your favorite color?
6. Can I call you Gare-Bear?
7. Can I please, please, please have your phone number? I can’t wait to come over!
All my love,
His NEW Response:
At least it got u talking! It does have the scope to develop into something meaningful and I am pretty flexible , at the same time I am not the one to keep flooding your inbox. I can definitely predict that you would make a great writer and wish to apologize for offending you. Following are true answers to your questions:
2. Met online: 30ish vs. met in person 10ish.
3. favorite color is blue.
4. I found you really pretty and wanted to try my luck, you got to try to succeed , right?
5. phone number: 313-***-****
6. you can call me whatever you want.
My NEW Response:
Nope. I’m good.
His final, very annoyed response:
Hey! At you should say it in a way a writer ought to put it. You must not be as good as you think.
Simply saying no is no fun .